Unfiltered: When “Support” Feels Like Déjà Vu
Yesterday, I attended a business support session with Go Succeed NI.
On paper, it was meant to be a diagnostic session.
A chance to understand my business and explore how they could support it.
In reality, it felt familiar. Too familiar.
The Session
From the start, it felt less like a conversation and more like a performance.
I spoke.
They nodded.
And occasionally interrupted to speed things up.
But it was clear not much was being heard.
At times, it felt closer to a “gotcha” session than a genuine attempt to understand the business in front of them.
What made it more noticeable was that very little prior effort had been made to look into my work.
My business, IFy Atelier, is not hidden. The website is publicly accessible and appears in a simple search.
Yet the session began as though none of that context existed.
The Form
After the session, I was sent a summary form to confirm.
It did not reflect what had been discussed.
The name of the business was incorrect
The description of the business was inaccurate and disjointed
Key details were either misunderstood or missing entirely
At that point, it wasn’t surprising. It was expected.
I responded with corrections and explained that I couldn’t confirm the form as accurate.
A revised version was sent.
Some changes were made.
But not the obvious one.
The business name was still wrong.
The Call
Later, I received a call.
Not to address the inaccuracies in the form.
But to question why I had CC’d others in my email.
From my perspective, that was simple: accountability.
What stood out wasn’t just the reaction, but the framing.
I was told:
Not all the information I provided was necessary
I was the only person who had “made a big deal” about the form
But this wasn’t about being difficult.
It was about something basic:
If you’re assessing a business, the name of that business should be correct.
The Pattern
What made the experience unsettling wasn’t the session itself.
It was the familiarity of it.
It echoed my wider experience navigating systems here in Northern Ireland:
Being given support that didn’t match the actual need
Having to push for clarity and accuracy
Being made to feel like the problem for asking for both
Even earlier in my education in NI, I experienced something similar.
Support decisions were made about me, not with me.
Processes existed, but accessing them felt opaque.
Clarity often came years later, not when it was needed.
On Mentorship
There’s also an underlying assumption in many systems:
That mentorship is always helpful.
But not all mentorship is equal.
And not all of it is appropriate.
Programmes—especially those grouped by identity—should be optional, not imposed.
Support works best when it is:
Relevant
Informed
And chosen
Not when it is assigned without understanding.
Where This Leaves Me
To be fair, I’ve now requested to be assigned a different mentor.
It appears the feeling was mutual.
News just in…
Seems like I might have been kicked off the Go Succeed NI scheme —
another all-too-familiar NI scenario.
But the experience raises a broader question:
How many systems designed to “support” people are actually listening to them?
Because at some point, it stops being about one session, one form, or one mentor.
It becomes a pattern.
And once you recognise the pattern, you can’t unsee it.
